Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I Don't Care If It's Smart...It's Not An iPhone
I want an iPhone.
I want it like KAT 1 wants to be liked. Yearningly. Obsessively. Adorably (at least to me it's adorable!)
I want it like KAT2 wants breasts (yes that's right people, she's a smart one KAT2). Desperately. Covetously. Transfiguringly (OK perhaps that's a tad creepy and not a word!!)
I want it like KAT3 wants a lolly in the supermarket. Irrationally. Impulsively. Unreasonably.
Unfortunately, SM is acting infuriatingly responsible and dare I say it frugal (aaaaaah run for the hills). He keeps reminding me that I already HAVE a smart phone and don't NEED an iPhone.
I in turn remind him that SMART PHONE is an oxymoron and whoever invented the term should be summarily sought out, dragged to the nearest shopping centre and put in stocks so that every multi-tasking mummy can whack him really hard with her handbag (you can see I'm a real extremist can't you).
My smart phone has been anything but intuitive! At the very moment when I NEED it be easy to use and intuitive it instead behaves OBTUSELY and obstinately refuses to co operate with me...it's mistress! This will usually coincide with a moment when the entire universe is plotting against me and giving me the shits and the phone aggravates instead of calms me...now a SMART phone would know how it should behave, shouldn't it?
I've had the aforementioned 'smart' phone for about 6 excruciating months and it has proved itself to be a dumb ass piece of crap! I have even conducted my own scientific experience giving it to the KAT's to play with and even THEY think it's a piece of the proverbial!!!
Leading up to the end of the financial year, I actually persuaded SM to 'window shop' for one to see if there were any deals on...alas, it was a fruitless endeavour!
Unfortunately although I may curse SM and harangue him every chance I get, my lack of an iPhone is more a product of one of my Top 5 character failings - my inability to resist a telephone salesperson.
This is a blog post in and of itself, suffice to say that I took a call from our current 'plan' provider and was talked into 'upgrading' my crap blackberry to a whizz bang smart phone.....I wish I could say I had some excuse (ie the KAT's were rampaging around our tiny house, a strange man that looks like Don Draper was ravishing me) but no...I was simply Sold with a capital 'S'.
6 months into my purgatory with another 18 months remaining I weep with regret every time I miss key, miss dial or miss manage my stupid smart phone. Bugger, bum poop!!
Image from katespadeloveaffair.com
Labels: iPhone Envy